


Beyond Compare

by ideserveyou



Category: Arthur of the Britons
Genre: Angst, First Time, Humor, M/M, Masturbation, Oral Sex, Public Sex, Slash, Voyeurism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-07-23
Updated: 2011-09-06
Packaged: 2017-10-21 16:34:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/227291
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ideserveyou/pseuds/ideserveyou
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's a hot afternoon and Arthur has gone for a siesta. One thing leads to another...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Louder than Words

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks yet again to trepkos for beta. Don't look too hard for a plot, because there isn't one!

It’s been three weeks.

Three sweltering weeks since the two riders careered in through the village gate, neck and neck, and flung themselves from their sweating mounts still laughing; met each other’s eyes, and were suddenly sober again.

The briefest of glimpses, but it set Kai on fire: a need and passion the match of his own, blazing in Arthur’s eyes. 

Then Arthur turned away, and the moment was broken, its magic diffused in the mundane details of unsaddling, grooming, feeding; in the harmless small-talk and hearthside banter; in the silence of the nights and the oppressive heat of the days that have followed.

 

Everything has changed, but Arthur seems unaware of it; he treats Kai with the same relaxed friendliness as before. He laughs, he teases him, he flings an arm around his shoulders every now and again. 

Kai wants more, but he fears to ask. 

He says nothing.

He is like a deerskin on the drying racks: stretched tighter and tighter with every scorching day that passes.

There is no release.

  

On this dusty, baking afternoon, his need is like a pain inside him.

He goes through the village, looking for Arthur, but he is nowhere to be found.

 

‘He went to the longhouse, I think,’ Llud says, stripped to the waist, hauling fish-traps out of the sleepy river.

For a moment or two, Kai considers stripping off and joining Llud in the cool water; but he knows that even if he did, he would still be burning up.

 

There is only one thing that can quench that fire.

 

So Kai crosses the dusty yard and steps softly into the deserted hall. It is very quiet, and he does not call out; if Arthur is here, perhaps he is sleeping.

 

He goes to the bedroom door, and finds it latched. Curious, he peers through the crack at the hinge side.

 

Arthur is lying on his bed, his back turned to the door; but he is not sleeping.

 

He has taken off his tunic and pushed his breeches down below his knees; the pale perfect curve of his buttocks is exposed.

Then he rolls onto his back. His eyes are closed and there is a faint smile on his lips.

He makes a ring of fingers and thumb around his foreskin, and draws it carefully down from the head, already swollen and purple. He licks his hand and wraps it around his prick, working it with a steady rhythm, and every now and then he rubs his thumb across the tip, or stops to wet his fingers, sucking them between those perfect lips.

 

A blush comes to Kai’s face, and he can hear his own heart hammering in his ears, but he can’t look away. He is held there, entranced by what he sees: Arthur’s strong straight shaft, its tip glistening through his fingers; the thick black hair on his belly and thighs. 

Arthur adds his other hand atop the first, and strokes more quickly, thrusting hungrily into both hands. 

Kai feels moisture gathering in his mouth; pressure building in his loins. He has never wanted Arthur more. 

But it is wrong to be watching him – wanting him – like this. Kai forces himself to step away from the door. His linen shirt snags on the wattle of the panelling, making a small tearing sound.

 

‘Who’s there?’ Arthur’s voice is sharp.

‘Arthur… it’s me.’

Kai gets no further, for Arthur yanks the door open; Kai almost falls through it.  
 

‘You were spying on me,’ Arthur accuses. He is flushed and angry; his hair is dishevelled, and there is a sheen of sweat on his brow and across his still naked chest. His breeches are unbelted. He has never looked more desirable. 

‘No,’ Kai says, with an effort. ‘I was looking for you.’

‘You had no right.’ Arthur spits the words at Kai; moves to push past him, head down, but Kai blocks his escape. 

Arthur shoves him roughly against the doorpost. ‘Get out of my way.’

Kai grips him by the shoulders, trying not to let himself look down, because surely Arthur must be still half-hard, and he himself is as rigid as the wooden beam against his back.

 

‘Let me go.’ Arthur struggles furiously against Kai’s restraining hands. ‘How long have you been standing there? What did you see?’ 

‘It’s all right,’ Kai says. ‘Listen … it doesn’t matter what I saw. If you hadn’t latched the door, I’d have come right in and joined you.’ 

‘Don’t make fun of me.’ Arthur is red to the roots of his hair. ‘I was –’

 

‘Thinking of me?’ Kai says.    
 

He hadn’t meant to say that; but Arthur stops fighting to get free.

He stares at Kai as though suddenly realising who he is.

 

‘Why were you looking for me?’ he asks.

‘I wanted …’ Kai falters.

‘What? What did you want?’ Arthur’s voice is calm, but his tone demands an answer.

 Kai takes a deep breath. ‘I wanted to talk to you.’ 

  
Unable to look into Arthur’s eyes, he drops his gaze, and sees: Arthur is more than half-hard, he is bigger and fuller than Kai has ever seen him, and there is a small spreading patch of wetness at the front of his breeches. 

Arthur looks down too, and sees Kai looking, and suddenly Kai is blushing just as fiercely. 

‘About – this?’ Arthur asks, very quietly. 

Kai takes courage. ‘Yes,’ he says. ‘About this.’

 

And he puts a hand on Arthur.

 

For a moment he thinks that Arthur might hit him; then Arthur is pressing against him, his breathing coming quick and shallow.

 Their lips meet, and the heat of the sun is as nothing beside the blaze that now consumes Kai’s heart.

 Arthur pulls away, gasping for air; and now he is smiling.

‘I think,’ he says, ‘we may need to act first, and then talk.’ 

  
He drags Kai into the bedroom and bars the door again.


	2. Warmer than Sunshine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arthur's siesta is a lot more interesting now he's got company

The fleeces on Arthur’s bed are still warm; still perfumed with the scent of his body, when Kai lies down on them and pulls Arthur down beside him. They are both naked; their clothing, stripped with frantic haste, lies scattered on the floor.

Now Kai can touch as well as look. But he doesn’t know where to start; it’s simply overwhelming. He presses himself against Arthur, runs his hands over him, wanting to touch and taste and feel every part of Arthur at once.

Arthur is trembling all over, making small sounds of longing, and Kai shushes him, kisses him; licks at Arthur’s lips. Then, growing bolder, he pushes his tongue inside.

Arthur’s eyes open wide. He pulls away, and at first Kai thinks he has offended. But then Arthur takes hold of Kai’s hand, and takes Kai’s first finger into his mouth, sucking gently, then running his tongue over the fingertip. He bites down softly, then pulls the finger slowly out, between his teeth; pushes it slowly back in again; licks some more.

Kai whimpers – he can’t help it. Every touch seems to be going straight to his prick.

Arthur looks into Kai’s eyes and slowly, slowly takes the finger out of his mouth; looks at it, all wet and shining.

He clears his throat. Kai already knows what he’s going to say.

‘I’d like to …’ Arthur flushes, and stammers to a halt.

Kai can scarcely get his breath. ‘Is that what you were thinking of, when I was watching you?’

‘One of the things,’ Arthur says. ‘Is that wrong?’

‘No,’ Kai says, stroking with his wet finger up the length of Arthur’s cock, making him shudder. ‘Not at all.’

Arthur is breathing deeply, eyes wide as he looks at Kai, lying exposed in all his nakedness and need.

‘Then, if you will permit me,’ he says.

‘Of course.’

But Kai can see the doubt as well as the longing on Arthur’s face. It is one thing to have a fantasy; quite another to be faced with the reality. And it’s a hot day.

He puts a hand on Arthur’s shoulder. ‘Would you … like to wash me, first?’

Arthur bites his lip; nods. ‘Thank you. Yes, I would.’

He fetches a basin, wrings out a cloth, and comes back to sit on the edge of the bed.

Kai leans back on his elbows, and lets Arthur take his time. The wet cloth feels cool and soothing against his overheated skin: passing gently across his belly, into the creases of his groin, around and over and behind his balls, making them draw themselves up.

‘They’ve got minds of their own,’ Kai says, breaking the tension, and Arthur smiles.

He dips the cloth in the basin and wrings it out again. The drops of water fall into the afternoon silence like little notes of music; a reflection shimmers on the wall beside the bed.

Kai’s whole being is waiting now, waiting for Arthur to touch him. He glances down at Arthur’s hand, clenched tightly around the cloth; then looks at Arthur’s intent face. Arthur is gazing at Kai’s prick, as though making up his mind.

‘It’s all right,’ Kai says. ‘Touch me. Make me clean, and then …’

‘And then?’

‘Then we’ll see,’ Kai says. ‘There’s no hurry. I’m not going anywhere.’

Arthur gives a small, embarrassed laugh. ‘I’m sorry,’ he says. ‘I haven’t done this before. Except …’

‘In your mind?’ Kai says. ‘Well, if what you did to my finger is anything to go by, you’ll have no trouble with the rest of me.’

Arthur’s tense shoulders relax a little; he reaches out, strokes the wet linen all the way up Kai’s aching shaft.

Kai groans and thrusts against Arthur’s hand. ‘More,’ he says. ‘Please. You have no idea how good that feels.’

Arthur snorts with sudden amusement. ‘Oh yes, I do. You know what I’ve been doing in my spare time, after all.’

He stripes Kai’s length with delicate, delicious coolness, base to tip, all the way around, his confidence growing with every stroke. Finally he encircles Kai with his fingers, pulls the skin gently back from the head of his prick, and washes him there.

He is blushing again now, and Kai looks away, fearing that Arthur may be repelled, or disappointed, or simply too embarrassed to continue.

‘Don’t worry,’ Arthur murmurs. ‘I’ve got this far – I’m not about to give up now.’

‘How did you know what I was thinking?’

‘You forget, I know you very well. Better than I know myself, I sometimes think. Believe me, I’m enjoying this as much as you are.’

He finishes his task and sets the cloth down, then leans over Kai and kisses him, hard and long, as Kai has never been kissed before, until they are both breathless.

Kai moans and clenches, hardly able to contain himself. He never dreamed it could be like this, with Arthur – in fact with anyone.

‘Please. Arthur, I can’t –’

Arthur props himself on one elbow and runs his fingers across Kai’s belly, stroking the golden curls from which Kai’s cock is rising, hard and hot and so, so ready for him.

Then he looks up into Kai’s eyes, as though asking for guidance.

‘Cover your teeth,’ Kai says. ‘And take it slowly.’

Arthur nods, and licks his lips.

Then he draws a deep breath and takes Kai into his mouth.

Kai gasps and shudders as Arthur slowly draws him in. There have been times when he has dared to picture Arthur and himself, together – but he has never imagined anything like this. It is loving and inexpert and absolutely exquisite. No woman has ever given him such bliss. But then, he never felt love like this for any woman.

He won’t last long. Already he can feel himself growing bigger; leaking from his tip as Arthur’s tongue travels over and round it, caressing and exploring.

All at once Arthur slides him out, and Kai feels a pang of disappointment, although he can understand it. This is Arthur’s first time; perhaps he is uncomfortable, or even a little repelled by the thought of a mouthful of seed. Maybe his fantasies didn’t go that far.

‘That was – Arthur, that was wonderful. But you don’t have to carry on,’ Kai says, laying a hand on Arthur’s shoulder. ‘We could stop.’

‘No,’ Arthur says, ‘no, please … I just need to get my breath, that’s all.’

Arthur takes hold of Kai’s wet shaft, slides his hand around it, his thumb gliding over the head, making Kai moan. Then he runs a hand over his own hardness, and Kai reproaches himself for his lack of thought.

‘Let me,’ he says, reaching out.

It feels so good to have that strong straight cock in his hand at last, to work it and tease it and hear Arthur’s little whimpers of astonishment.

Arthur dips his head to Kai’s groin once more, and Kai slides back into Arthur’s hot, wet mouth like a homecoming.

Almost at once, he’s past the point of no return; he feels Arthur reach it too, and keeps hold of him, helping him, as he spills himself into Arthur’s mouth, and Arthur’s come covers his hand; and Arthur is groaning in his throat and breathing hard through his nose, but he doesn’t lift himself away from Kai until Kai is utterly spent.

They lie side by side, stuck together with their issue and their sweat.

Kai feels the tension of the past few weeks melting away; like that dried deerhide, now unstrung and soaked in the river, he is eased and softened, and ready to be whatever Arthur needs him to be.

Kai pushes the damp hair out of Arthur’s eyes and asks him: ‘Was that… as you thought?’

Arthur shakes his head. ‘Better,’ he says, grinning. ‘Better than I could possibly have imagined.’ He licks his lips, his eyes dancing with happiness.

‘Doesn’t it taste… bad?’ Kai doesn’t know; but the thought of finding out makes his heart race.

Now Arthur’s eyes are challenging him. ‘Of course not,’ Arthur says. ‘I’ll share it, if you like.’   
He pulls Kai into a kiss, and it is unexpectedly pleasant: earthy, musky, faintly sweet. Kai lifts his own hand to his mouth and licks Arthur’s seed from between his fingers. He hears Arthur make a small, happy sound; feels Arthur’s mouth take his again, savouring the taste of both of them, inextricably mingled.

This is how it should be, Kai thinks, as his eyelids fall closed, his body glowing with fulfilment and heavy with sleep, his damp limbs still entwined with Arthur’s. Now it will be summer in my heart forever …

...   
Something is banging somewhere. Kai is annoyed. How is he supposed to sleep with that racket going on? And he wants to sleep, to lie sprawled here careless and forgetful in the afternoon heat, with the scent of Arthur’s sex all over him, and Arthur’s soft breathing in his ear.

But the sound comes again, and Arthur stirs, and then sits bolt upright, groping for his discarded breeches. Kai puts out a hand to stay him, but Arthur is already heading for the door; pulling it open a little way.

Even from behind, he looks beautiful, Kai thinks fondly. His hair all tousled, and that gleam of sweat across his shoulders, and that glorious arse. I could look at that all day, every day, and never tire.

Then Kai sees Llud, looking in over Arthur’s shoulder, and too late he comes to his senses, pulling a sheepskin hastily over his nakedness even as he meets his father’s eyes.

He waits for the reprimand that he has surely earned, even though he is utterly unrepentant.

But there is no censure in Llud’s face: nothing but a glimmer of amusement.

‘Well,’ he says. ‘I suppose this old man’s going to have to go somewhere else for his afternoon nap now.’

Arthur is standing motionless and uncharacteristically speechless. Llud winks at them both.

‘Mind you bar the door again,’ he says, and is gone.

Arthur is careful to obey before he turns back to the bed.

‘I don’t think I’m going to go back to sleep,’ he says, very evenly.

‘I don’t think I am, either,’ Kai replies, with equal composure. ‘What shall we do instead?’

Arthur’s answering smile is brighter and warmer than the sun itself.


	3. Darker than the Space Between the Stars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kai is impatient for more, and it leads to trouble

It’s another hot morning. Kai is awake, and has been since first light. He is trying to lie motionless and not wake Arthur, who is still – miracle of miracles, Kai hasn’t got used to it yet – lying naked and content on Kai’s bed, face down on top of the sheepskins, his breath coming light and even.

So beautiful … Kai can’t resist reaching out to touch him, to reassure himself that he is not dreaming.

He runs his hand lovingly over Arthur’s back; Arthur stirs and murmurs, but does not wake.

Hard already just from that light touch, Kai lifts himself on one elbow, and looks, and looks again.

Arthur’s tumbled dark hair, the lean muscles of his shoulders and one out-flung arm, the curve and flare of his buttocks, the darkness between them …

The darkness calls to Kai, drawing his hand there; he glides his palm over one smooth cheek, slipping a finger down into that cleft, his breath catching in his throat.

Arthur murmurs in his sleep, and shifts a little, pressing upwards. Kai’s finger slides further in, over smooth skin moist with sweat, and then –

It’s puckered, and taut, and hot to touch, and there is a pulse beating under the surface. Kai feels his own pulse hammering in his head and in his cock. He has dreamed of this for so long …

Suddenly Arthur writhes violently, twisting away from Kai’s hand.

‘What the hell are you doing?’

‘Arthur, it’s all right.’

‘No! You have no right to touch me there. None.’

Kai feels cold all over.

“Arthur, I … I thought … this is one of the things I was thinking of while I was watching you through the bedroom door.’

Arthur looks shocked as well as angry. ‘How dare you even think of it? What do you mean by it?’

Is it possible that he does not know?

‘I meant no insult,’ Kai says, flushing. ‘It is… a source of pleasure…’

‘Pleasure?’ Arthur stares at him. ‘You must be joking.’

‘No,’ Kai says, trying to keep his own voice calm, not to anger Arthur further. ‘It is …’ He draws a deep breath. ‘It is the most beautiful thing in the world. I promise you.’

Arthur’s expression flits from anger, through blank incomprehension, to disgust.

Kai keeps trying, although he can see it’s hopeless. ‘I am sorry that I did not ask you first,’ he says. ‘But please, let me show you now. I want to …’   
He falters to a halt, quelled by the finality in Arthur’s eyes.

‘You can’t,’ Arthur says. ‘That’s my… and I…’

He cannot even speak of it.

Kai sits up, and slams a fist into the wall. ‘Yes, it’s your arsehole, and you shit through it,’ he says firmly, holding Arthur’s gaze with his own. Then he takes his half-hardness in his hand. ‘And this is my cock, and I piss through it, but that didn’t seem to put you off putting it in your mouth.’

‘That’s not the same thing,’ Arthur says, looking away.

‘But it is,’ Kai pleads. ‘Arthur, it is all the same thing. There is no shame in it.’ He lays a hand on Arthur’s shoulder. ‘It need not be this way. If you would prefer to take me, first –’

‘And why would I want to do that?’

Kai’s heart is torn. But he says nothing. Perhaps if he just stays here…

But Arthur shakes Kai’s hand off him.

‘Get away from me.’ Arthur’s voice is clipped and brittle.

‘Arthur, I –’

‘I said, get away from me.’

Kai stands up and paces the floor, unable to comprehend the disaster that has befallen.

He tries again. ‘There’s no need to be afraid –’

‘I am not afraid,’ Arthur says, in an icy voice.

Once again, Kai has made a mistake; now Arthur is insulted, as well as repelled.

‘Please, Arthur – I won’t ask again.’

‘No, you won’t. You won’t be touching me again either – there, or anywhere.’

And Arthur turns his back.

All his hopes and dreams in tatters, Kai drags on his clothes and flings himself out of the longhouse, striding across the yard and out of the gate without a word to anyone.

He is a mile or so into the forest before he lets the tears get the better of him.

As he stumbles back to the village later that day, dark clouds mass overhead and a spatter of rain begins, soon turning to a steady downpour that scarcely abates for   
the next fortnight.

The yard turns to mud; green mould blossoms on wood and leather, and it’s impossible to get anything dry; food spoils in the store hut. The river bursts its banks, several sheep are swept away in the flood, and there is sickness and foot-rot in the remaining herds.

Arthur and Kai avoid each other; their conversation is limited to what is strictly necessary for the running of the village, and at night they sleep apart, faces turned resolutely to the wall.

Kai begins to think that he will go mad. His frustration, regret, anger, all combine to make him feel far worse than he felt in the summer. Now he knows, too, what he has lost. It would almost be better if they had never ¬–

And he begins to feel that it will never stop raining.

But nothing lasts forever.

The skies clear; the river returns to its bed and the sea of mud across the yard shrinks to a few puddles and potholes. The roads are passable once more, the restless horses can be exercised, and the early autumn hunting is good. The villagers start to repair their damaged huts and stables, and take stock of their losses.

Arthur decrees that a trading trip is necessary, to replace essential stores and livestock.

He does not include Kai in the party that will go to the port.

And when the appointed day comes, he mounts up and leaves without saying a word of farewell.


	4. Clearer than Clear Water

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arthur comes home and starts talking to Kai again.

Another beautiful day is bathing Arthur’s village in warmth and sunshine; but Kai can get no joy from it.

He is still berating himself furiously for being impatient – he should have been content to look; he should have talked to Arthur first, and left the touching for another day.

His impatience and his lust have deprived him of the love of his life – perhaps forever – and yet all he can think about is ... that even now, he could be lying on soft fleeces with his fingers exploring that forbidden darkness, that cleft, those beautiful curves of Arthur’s body that he cannot get out of his mind’s eye, even though the memories torture him.

He and Arthur could be happy, and together.

Instead, he is alone, and miserable, and up to the elbows in scratchy reed stems and withies, helping with repairs to the storm-damaged stable thatch – all the duty he was charged with in Arthur’s absence. And Arthur did not even tell him himself, but relayed his orders via Llud…

A fly buzzes past and hovers around the roof beams; the sound seems to drill right into Kai’s head.

Kai aims an ill-timed and ill-tempered blow at the maddening insect, but all he manages to do is to knock into a trestle and scatter the reeds stacked on top of it.

With a curse, he bends to pick them up and lay them straight again.

Perched on the roof above him, Conn the thatcher sniggers behind his hand. As Kai knows the whole village is laughing at him for being somehow in Arthur’s disfavour all of a sudden.

Kai rubs at his sore knuckles, and pretends not to notice.  
He is used to such things by now.

And he doesn’t care.

He doesn’t.

He grits his teeth, and hands Conn the next reed-sheaf.

 

***

 

A disturbance at the gate: dogs bark, chickens cackle, women and children call out eager greetings. Arthur and his companions are back from the market.

Of a sudden, Kai finds he is trembling. Hoping that Conn has not noticed, Kai leans hard against the wicker panelling of the wall, and chides himself for his weakness.  
It will be a long time before he can be indifferent to Arthur’s presence. If indeed it will ever be possible…

Conn scampers down his ladder, and goes to the gate to greet the returning party.  
Kai does not go, but carries on with his work, methodically stacking and trimming, trying not to think or feel.

His knuckles still hurt.

And that damned fly is still buzzing in his ear.

‘Kai.’

Before he can stop himself, Kai has turned round. Arthur is standing there, his dark hair dust-whitened and his expression unreadable. He holds out a hand in formal greeting.

Kai grits his teeth with the effort of holding himself upright. His heart is hammering in his throat.

‘Kai,’ Arthur says again.

‘Arthur,’ Kai replies, with a curt nod, and turns away; bends to pick up another bundle of reeds.

A small sound behind him: a sharp indrawn breath of pain. And then – ‘Kai.’ A low-pitched, desperate whisper.

The reed stems fall in disarray, this time unheeded.

Arthur’s face is pale; his hands are clenched tightly at his sides. His chest is heaving.  
‘I’m – sorry,’ he chokes out. ‘Kai, I –’ He shakes his head in frustration. Musters himself; forces himself to speak calmly.  
‘May I talk with you?’

Kai nods. There is a lump in his throat, and he can feel a trickle of sweat running down between his shoulder blades. ‘Of course,’ he says hoarsely, and swallows. ‘But not here.’

Whatever is going to happen between them now, he does not want it witnessed by the rest of the village.

‘Agreed,’ Arthur says, with just the ghost of a smile. He looks at Kai, as though for guidance.

Kai wonders where to go. Not the hall: too many curious eyes. And not the bedroom either: too many unhappy memories there. Nor the lakeside, busy with fishermen and boat-builders and the children splashing and laughing…

The forest, then.

He gestures to show the route they are to follow. Arthur walks beside him without a word.

Up the hill and along the narrow track to the abandoned lookout post, now replaced by a better one farther up. Here, there is a fallen trunk to perch on; a view down to the smoke of the village and the sparkle of the lake.

Arthur’s land, spread out before them.

And standing beside him, Arthur…

Kai cannot look at him yet. He waits, watching the flight of a pigeon across the treetops below them.

Finally Arthur breaks the silence: his voice, small and sorrowful.

‘I’ve missed you.’

‘Not as much as I’ve missed you,’ Kai says, still staring at the glitter of the sun on the lake.

He hears Arthur shift his stance, and step nearer; not quite touching.

Arthur sniffs, and swallows hard. ‘I was afraid I might come back and find you gone,’ he says. ‘When we arrived, and you weren’t at the gate to greet us – ’

Kai turns to him then, and sees the glitter of sun on water, still: there are tears in Arthur’s blue eyes. There is still hope. Joy courses through Kai, even as he pities Arthur’s distress.

‘Arthur.’ He puts out a hand to touch Arthur’s shoulder. ‘Did you really think I would leave here? That I would not wait for you, for as long as you chose to be gone?’

Arthur reaches up and takes Kai’s hand between both of his own. ‘Forgive me,’ he says.

Kai huffs out a breath. ‘Don’t I always?’

‘I don’t deserve it this time,’ Arthur says.

‘Gaaah.’ Kai turns to him, and ruffles his hair. ‘You didn’t deserve it most of the other times either,’ he says, light-headed with relief. ‘It never stopped me.’

‘Kai, I –’

‘Shut up.’

‘But I’ve –’

‘Shut up.’

‘We need to talk –’ Arthur lays a hand against Kai’s cheek.

‘No.’ Kai shakes his head, feeling the unfamiliar sensation of his mouth curving into a smile. ‘Talking is the last thing we need to do right now. This is what we need…’

Kai puts his own hand over Arthur’s, pressing it fiercely to his own face, nuzzling into Arthur’s palm. Arthur’s thumb caresses Kai’s eyelid, his brow, his cheekbone; Kai turns his head this way and that, blissful. Then he takes Arthur’s thumb into his mouth, biting down on it, drawing it between his teeth, wrapping his tongue around it, tasting Arthur’s sweat, hearing Arthur whimper.

‘See?’ he murmurs. ‘That’s better than any words. Talking’s for women and old men. You and I are men of action…’

He presses his lips briefly to Arthur’s.

‘You need to forgive me, too,’ he says. ‘I was wrong to take without asking. There have been girls I’ve bedded for just one night whom I’ve treated with more courtesy.’

Arthur shakes his head. ‘You spoke the truth, Kai. I was afraid. So I ran away… but I couldn’t stop thinking about it. What you did, what you would have done had I not been too much of a coward to let you.’

He is blushing fiercely now, and barely able to speak. ‘And when I was alone, I tried… I touched myself… there… Breached my own body…’

A shudder runs through Kai, just at the thought of it: Arthur on his back, spreading himself, probing with his fingers, careful and methodical.

‘Was it good?’ Kai asks, keeping his voice deliberately neutral. He sits down on the tree trunk and motions to Arthur to sit also.

Arthur nods, and sits down beside Kai, slipping an arm around his waist. ‘I wasn’t expecting…’

Kai knows what pleasure it holds: he recalls very clearly the shock of delight when his own exploring finger discovered that deep-seated tender spot.

He draws Arthur’s head down to rest on his own shoulder; kneads the nape of Arthur’s neck under the sun-warmed, silky weight of his hair.

‘You were right,’ Arthur murmurs. ‘There is no shame in it. I can’t think why –’

‘I startled you,’ Kai says. ‘And it’s no easy thing to be breached by another. I know. I’ve taken many girls for the first time – and have had one or two touch me there, I wanted to find out… You have to trust…’

He is struggling to find the words.

‘Now who’s talking when he should be doing?’ Arthur asks, and slides off the log onto the ground so he can lay his head in Kai’s lap, resting his cheek against the swell of Kai’s hardness.

Kai moans with longing.

Arthur gets to his knees, and reaches for Kai’s belt; unbuckles it, then begins to unlace Kai’s breeches.

‘We can’t,’ Kai protests feebly. ‘Someone might see.’

‘Yes,’ Arthur says. ‘Someone might.’

He looks up at Kai, and grins. A broad bright smile of wicked delight; a smile Kai had feared never to see again.

Soon both are freed, and reaching for each other, and they fall sideways onto the ground. They grapple for purchase, locked together as though in mortal combat, rolling in the dust; coming to rest with Arthur on top, his length rutting against Kai’s, his buttocks bared shamelessly to the uncaring sky.

It is brief, and bruising, and their shared peak is as sharp and bright as the sunlight on the lake.

Kai has never been happier.

Some time later, Arthur pulls Kai to his feet, and helps him to straighten his clothing. Kai sways and stumbles like a drunken man; he is boneless and limp with relief.

Arthur looks at him with love. ‘We can’t go back to the village like this,’ he says. ‘We look as though…’

‘As though we’d been rolling around in the road fucking each other like a couple of foxes in springtime?’

‘Exactly like that.’ Arthur nods.

‘The river, then?’

‘I think so. Yes. And if anyone asks – I needed to bathe after my long ride. And you…’

‘Fell in accidentally while keeping a lookout.’

‘I’m sure that can be arranged…’

 

***

 

Damp-haired and decorously clad, the leader of the Celts and his right-hand man walk innocently across the village yard in the late afternoon.

Llud looks up enquiringly from the smithy fire as they pass. ‘So you found him, then,’ he says to Arthur.

‘Yes,’ Arthur says. ‘And he’s been working far too hard while I’ve been away. We’re both going back to the longhouse to rest.’

‘It sounds as though he needs to, certainly,’ Llud agrees, straight-faced. ‘That’s a nasty cough he’s got there.’

He turns back to his work, smiling to himself.

 

***

 

‘Are you all right?’ Arthur asks, slapping Kai solicitously on the back.

Kai chokes and heaves, and then spits into the dust.

‘I’m fine,’ he says, and wipes his mouth on his hand. ‘I’d just swallowed a fly, that’s all.’


	5. Higher than the Mountains, Deeper than the Sea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All is well, and that's all you need to know...

Arthur drops the bar across the bedroom door, and turns to face Kai.

‘Well?’

Kai smiles, languid and content after his bathe. ‘Very well, I thank you. And I’ll be even better once I’ve got these clothes off –’

‘Here, let me help you.’ Arthur takes a couple of swift strides across the floor; tugs hungrily at Kai’s belt and lacings. Soon both are stripped again.

They stand apart for a few moments, just looking; then they are wrapped around each other once more, skin to skin, drinking each other in, no longer with that first wild impatience but slowly, savouring every moment.

They stumble backwards and fall onto Arthur’s bed, where they lie sprawled and entangled on the soft fleeces. It’s peaceful and warm and half-dark; the sounds of the village outside seem very far away.

Suddenly Arthur is yawning, and it makes Kai yawn too. They smile at each other.

‘I could sleep…’ Arthur says, longingly.

Kai looks at him with fondness. ‘Sleep, then. I expect you need it.’

‘I didn’t sleep well while I was away,’ Arthur confesses. ‘I was –’

‘Thinking of me?’ Kai asks, chuckling.

Arthur smiles, a little ruefully. ‘Yes – and of what a fool I’d been.’ He reaches for Kai; pulls him closer. ‘Kai, I’m so sorry –’

Kai silences him with a kiss. ‘No need,’ he says. ‘You came back. You still want me. The rest can wait. Sleep… and if I can’t keep my hands off you this time…’

‘Promise to wake me first,’ Arthur murmurs.

‘I promise.’ Kai presses his lips to Arthur’s.

Arthur is still smiling as he falls asleep.

 

Kai wakes, and for a moment he thinks he’s dreamed in a circle. Arthur is lying beside him, face down on the fleeces, naked and heart-stoppingly beautiful.

The pain in his knuckles brings Kai back to the present, and as he props himself on an elbow, he winces, and then smiles; his ribs are bruised from rolling over and over with Arthur on the stony track.

Mindful of his promise, he strokes Arthur’s hair back from his face; kisses him gently, feeling Arthur’s breath soft on his cheek.

Arthur mutters something, and wakes, and smiles.

And Kai sees that this time, he has no need to ask: he is welcome. He runs his hand down Arthur’s spine, and then lower.

Arthur’s breathing quickens and deepens; he spreads his legs, and Kai follows the tight curve of Arthur’s buttocks, down and down into the cleft between them…

But Arthur tenses a little.

Kai reaches down and caresses the swelling ridge at the root of Arthur’s cock. It’s hot down there, and soft curled hairs brush against his fingers as he strokes and kneads, and Arthur’s balls tighten and draw up in response.

‘Oh.’ Arthur cannot keep silent.

‘That’s good?’ Kai asks.

‘You know it is… Oh.’ Arthur squirms. ‘Don’t stop.’

Kai smiles, and kisses Arthur again. ‘Not unless you tell me to.’

He moves one finger up, just a little, to touch Arthur where he touched him before, and this time Arthur accepts the touch. Soon he is asking for more: he lifts his hips, pressing himself against Kai’s hand.

Kai almost loses control at the thought of what he is about to do – of what they are about to do, together…

But he must be careful.

He withdraws his hand. Arthur moans.

‘It’s all right,’ Kai tells him. ‘I don’t want to hurt you, that’s all. I just need to –’

He strokes Arthur’s cheek, then slips his fingers into Arthur’s mouth. ‘Make them wet for me,’ he says.  
Arthur sucks and licks, as though he were mouthing Kai’s cock; Kai feels it there too. Soon Kai’s fingers are dripping wet; he slides them back into Arthur’s cleft, and strokes around Arthur’s entrance, giving Arthur time.

‘That’s right,’ Kai murmurs. ‘You’re doing well, don’t worry, let me take care of you…’

And when the moment is right, and Arthur is relaxed and calm under Kai’s hands, Kai presses just a little harder...

Arthur makes a small high sound, and catches his breath.

‘Should I stop?’ Kai asks.

Arthur shakes his head. ‘More,’ he says, panting. ‘I want more.’

So Kai presses in further; eases in another finger beside the first.

It is tight and hot, and he tries not to think of what it would be like – will be like – to have that shivering flesh clenching and pulsing around his cock. To have Arthur’s slender hips between his palms, and that beautiful arse bucking and pressing against him. To be truly one…

Kai’s two fingers are buried to the knuckles, and suddenly Arthur jerks and cries out, and Kai’s too late to hold Arthur back from the brink.

Arthur moans, and clutches at himself, coming hard and fast into the sheepskins. ‘I’m sorry,’ he gasps. ‘So sorry, Kai. I couldn’t –’  
‘It’s all right,’ Kai says, withdrawing his hand carefully, putting an arm over Arthur to pull him close.  
Arthur shakes his head. ‘I thought I knew what would happen. But to have someone else touch me… there…’ His voice trails away.  
‘I know. It’s my fault,’ Kai says. ‘I should have been more careful… Did I hurt you?’  
‘No.’ Arthur heaves a sigh; his heart is thudding against his ribs, so hard that Kai can feel it. ‘I’m sorry,’ he says again.

‘Don’t be,’ Kai tells him, and helps him to roll over, out of the wet spreading stain on the blanket.

‘But I am,’ Arthur says despairingly. ‘I know how much you want this. And I don’t want you to think – I’m just not sure –’

Kai trails one finger through Arthur’s spill on the sheepskins, and touches it lightly to Arthur’s entrance once more. Arthur quivers at the contact; but his body is locked tight, resisting even the gentlest pressure.

‘You’re not ready to let me in,’ Kai says.  
Arthur catches his breath, but does not deny it.

Kai withdraws his hand; slides his wet finger thoughtfully over his own hardness. ‘Listen, beloved. There is a way we can still do this and not have to breach you, not yet.’

‘I don’t understand,’ Arthur says. His eyes are closed; he sounds lost, and sad.

‘Look at me,’ Kai says, and turns on his side, facing away. ‘See that… space, where everything joins together?’

‘You mean, here?’ Arthur slides a finger in between Kai’s thighs.

‘Yes, there.’

Arthur pushes the finger in further, and Kai clenches himself at the feel of it, tentative and needy, nudging behind his balls. He takes a deep breath. ‘I fit in there, between your thighs, and it’ll feel as though I’m taking you. Better, in a way, because I can still touch you, and you can touch us both. And it won’t hurt...’

He pulls away with an effort of will, and rolls over again, facing Arthur.

Arthur is looking at him, and frowning. ‘How do you know this?’

Kai smiles. ‘Don’t worry. There has been no other man for me, nor ever will be. I learned it from a girl who didn’t want to carry my child. And it’s good when they’re tight, or anxious.’

He strokes Arthur’s flank and belly, soothing him.

‘It’s easy to stop, too,’ he says, coaxing Arthur onto his side. He nuzzles into the warm hollow between Arthur’s shoulder blades. ‘All you have to do is move away, if it’s too much, if you don’t want…’

‘But I do want,’ Arthur says.

‘I know.’ Kai kisses the nape of Arthur’s neck. ‘Just not yet.’

He slicks Arthur’s thighs, gathering what he can of Arthur’s spill from his body and the bedclothes, adding his own spit and sliding his wet fingers around Arthur’s balls; then he parts Arthur gently.

‘Let me show you,’ he says, and pushes his aching prick into the space between. ‘Let me in…’

It is not so tight as Arthur’s entrance would have been; but it is warm, and smooth, and so very welcome… Soon Kai is buried to the hilt, with Arthur’s arse pressing hard against his belly and Arthur’s hand sliding over the wet head of his cock, working the skin back from it, teasing the ridge around it.

Kai groans, and thrusts against those beautiful ripe buttocks, again and again, desperate for release. Arthur tightens his grip; presses his legs together, tensing the muscles rhythmically around Kai’s shaft, until Kai can bear it no longer. There is a singing in his ears, a white light dazzling his eyes, a fierce joy in his heart.

He hears himself cry out, and the light fills the whole world.

Then there is darkness for a little while.

When he opens his eyes again, he is lying with his head on Arthur’s shoulder and Arthur’s arm around him; Arthur has a rag in his free hand, and is methodically cleaning them both.

‘Thank you,’ Kai says, and cannot suppress a huge yawn.

Arthur chuckles fondly. ‘Sleep,’ he says, and kisses him. ‘You need to gather your strength.’

‘For what?’ Kai murmurs drowsily.

Arthur leans over him. ‘The next time,’ he whispers in his ear.

And now it is Kai who is smiling as he falls asleep.


End file.
